Uh-Oh by Robert Fulghum

Author:Robert Fulghum [Fulghum, Robert]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-75502-5
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 1991-08-26T04:00:00+00:00

So we had enough—Grady’s friends. Enough of his being stuck straddling the present and the future. Enough of his moaning and groaning. It was casting a pall over poker games. We decided to shove him headlong into the perils of the next phase of his miserable existence. While he was off skiing one weekend, we bought the lousy paint and repainted his crummy living room. Hauled half his furniture to the Goodwill, had his rug shampooed, the windows washed, and bought him a potted plant and one goldfish in a bowl so that something alive was in there with him at night.

Oh, he appreciated the gesture all right. He even cried about it. Took us all out to dinner and made a great fuss. But he’s not happy.

It’s the paint. The paint’s the wrong color. We used medium yellow. Lighter yellow was what he had in mind. And now if he repaints it, he will hurt our feelings, and if he doesn’t, he’ll go crazy living with that yellow, so Grady’s stuck again.

We sent his ex-wife a sympathy card.

And sent Grady a bill for the damned paint.

The only reason I still hang out with him has to do with getting some new curtains in our house. You know what getting new curtains means. Grady’s one of the few people I know to talk to about what getting new curtains can lead to. In fact, we may form a club called the Damned If You Do and Damned If You Don’t Society of America. A subsection of the Fellowship of the Fridge. We’d probably never get a membership going. Most of our kind of folks wouldn’t be able to make up their minds whether to join or just wait and see.

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